Montezuma, Indiana

So I'm headed back to Montezuma. Just for a few days.

I meant to share with you some of the interesting things about Montezuma, but I got all bogged down with not being in Montezuma, and didn't have time.

But now, magically, I do!

Montezuma is located about two miles away from the Newport Chemical Depot. This military facility is home to all 1,200 tons of the US stockpile of VX gas. Fun!

Just up the street from Montezuma is Hillsdale. In Hillsdale is the Hillsdale Bar & Grill. Its a working-man's place. Folks who work hard for a living go here to unwind over some beers, and on Thursday, tacos. Be wary when ordering Jack & Coke, or any other mixed drink, as there are only 3 glasses that they serve mixed drinks in, and once they run out, they serve 'em in plastic cups. You've been warned.

Next on our little tour is Dick's Tavern, right in the middle of scenic Montezuma. Dick's is a friendly local place. When we showed up on a Tuesday evening, we were greeted well before the door by the sound of Korn's "Y'all Want A Single" track, loud. Inside we found ourselves in a dim, not crowded little hole-in-the-wall bar. Oh - you can't get a Heineken anywhere. Not in Montezuma, not in Hillsdale, not in Rockville. But they have Blue Moon on tap at the 36 Saloon in Rockville =) Oh but back to Dick's. I beheld my first near bar-fight. A few guys from the Mill and I are talking over our beers, when angry voices rang out from the bar behind us, and we turned and watched a sorta pudgy guy who looked really out of place, like he should instead have been holding a bucket of pop-corn and going on about the Dark Sith and so forth. He was being yelled at angrily by a small weasley-looking fellow, who looked kinda like David Spade from "Joe Dirt", except this guy was more dirty and weasley. I have no idea what the ruckus was over, but rat-man told the starwars kid that he wasn't fucking around, and that he'd kill him. After a few moments of watching interestedly, tensions faded, and weasel-face went to shoot darts with the incredibly drunk woman who had told us just a few minutes ago about how she just shit in the woods when there was not a bathroom readily available. Oh - I'd nearly forgotten. We went to Dick's twice while I was there. That was the first visit. On the second visit, we joined some other folks there. As we entered and sat down, one guy got up to use the bathroom. He wandered around for a moment in the place, trying the seemingly-random doors on the wall, obviously trying to figure out where the shit-hole bathroom was in the shit-hole bar. He found it, and on his return, I was getting up to go, needing to wash my hands after working in the Mill all day. I jokingly asked the fellow if there was a sink in the bathroom. He replied that yes, there was, and as I left the table, one of the fellows from the Mill, a local, said "Sure! You just lift the seat and splash the water onto your hands!" I laughted, and found the shit-hole bathroom. Picture in your mind a room perhaps 6 feet by 7 feet. Trough-style urinal: check. Standing sink with little rickety wooden doors on the front of it, at your knees, hiding some plumbing perhaps: check. Toilet that is missing both the lid, and the seat, leaving behind only the little nubs of the hinges - oh and the lid of the reservoir is obviously from a different toilet, and does not match this one: check. Having quickly run down my checklist I head to the sink and turn the grimy handles. Of course. Nothing. Not a drop. Generously, I turned them back to where I had found them, "off" I suppose. And I returned to my beer.

Good stuff. We'll see what exciting tales I can bring you back this time around, dear reader!